Lewis Hamilton admits that news of his departure for Ferrari coming so early “was straining” on his relationship with Mercedes.
He added that while he knew it wouldn’t be easy dealing with everyone knowing that he was leaving proved more difficult than he had anticipated.
Hamilton will contest his 246th and final race for the Brackley team in Abu Dhabi this weekend.
“The first meeting with Toto at the beginning of the year was awkward, of course,” he said.
“So it was awkward from the get-go, to the day after when I took some of the team paintballing. And they had just found out. I got lots of shots from people, loads of bruises. People went in on me that day!
“I think ultimately I anticipated it would be difficult, but massively underestimated how difficult it would be. And it was straining on the relationship very early on, took time for people to get past it. And then just for my own self, it’s been a very emotional year for me.
“I think I’ve not been at my best in handling and dealing with those emotions. And I would definitely would say this year’s been one of the worst in terms of handling that from my side, which I’ll work on trying to be better at.
“But I hope the good and the highs far outweigh the negatives and how I’ve handled it or behaved. And as I said, I just remember the good times.”
Hamilton stressed that he had some good friendships within the team.
“I’ve built some incredible relationships,” he said. “We’ve gone through. If you imagine, when you’re going through a season together with so many people, not only on those race weekends where you’re riding the highs and lows together, but in their personal lives, through marriages, through divorces, through loss of family members, through cancer, through all sorts.
“You’re going through these journeys with these people. So it’s a really beautiful journey you go on together. And being that it was so long, the emotions run so deep.”
He stressed that a change of team is a boost for his motivation.
“Of course, it really sparks motivation and it’s a dream scenario for any driver to have an opportunity like this. So, don’t take that for granted. Also, you know, massive respect for Carlos and everything he’s done within the team.
“I remember when I joined Mercedes, and it’s not an easy step to ever enter into a new team. And it takes time to build new relationships and learn the tools and everything.
“Coming into next year with that same focus, that same might that I had when I joined Mercedes and with ultimately that leap of faith, I think is exciting and exhilarating.”
